Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
