Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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