and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
