Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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