We won't sleep together?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
