I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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