Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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