Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
