Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
