he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
home. puking in laundry basket.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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