He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
50% drunk capacity currently
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
