i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
