Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
