Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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