I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
