So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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