last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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