I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
