okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
