your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
