You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
