She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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