My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I lost the right to judge tonight
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
