I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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