Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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