I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize