ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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