THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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