I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
