Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i believe in u and ur pee
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
