We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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