And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
