My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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