i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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