Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
it glows. i had to have it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
