i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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