Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
