i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
