Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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