There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
