yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
