I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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