So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
