Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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