It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
