his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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