Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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