porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
