If you die in college, do you die in real life?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
