Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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