is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
