It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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