If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize