walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
