brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
