I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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