when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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