thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
accomplished twins. life is a go
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
