JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize