Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
