I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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