That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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