Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
