I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
