New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I wear drunk well.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
