Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
