I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
