Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
