party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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