I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I had to cum in my sink.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
