she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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