I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
