Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
