I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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