i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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