okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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