Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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