Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize